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This truck has been in 15 accidents...and hasn't lost one yet..

Someday your prince will come. Mine got lost took a wrong turn and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

Your lucky number is 32345543423225. Watch for it everywhere.

I tried to snort coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

Mustache rides 5 cents

So many stupid people, So few comets

You are the object of my ERECTION!

If a couple divorce in Kentucky, are they still brother and sister?

Go ahead and honk. I'm reloading.

So many stupid people, not enough bullets in a clip.

It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.

Moody bitch seeks nice guy for love-hate relationship

I read Playboy for the articles and watch Porn for the music

If you say one more word, I'm going to put my umbrella in your pants and open it.

Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face on the back of a milk carton.

Die Yuppie Scum.

Bad cop...no donut.

The light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train.

Dislexics of the world... UNTIE!!

I would rather be spanking my monkey.

Where There's A Whip, There's A Way.

The best way to change someone's mind is with a rock

When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

Man who walks through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok

Guns are no more responsible for killing people than the spoon is responsible for making Rosie O'Donnell fat.
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