When Santa Gets Annoyed
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben a good boy all yer.
Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a career lawn care
specialist. How 'bout I send you a damn book so you can learn to read and
write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at least HE can spell!
I want a new bike, playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum
kit, pony, and a tuba.
Who names their kid 'Francis' nowadays? What a fag name.
I really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE Timmy
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap don't
work up here. You're getting a sweater again.
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get in to our home?
First, stop calling yourself 'Marky.' That's why you're getting your
ass whipped at school. Secondly, you don't live in a house, that's a low-rent
apartment complex you're living in. Thirdly, I get inside your pad just like
all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet dreams!
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for
your reindeer outside the backdoor.
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the reindeer fart in my face.
You want to be a kiss ass? Leave me a glass of Chivas Regal.
I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please,
I really, really want a fire truck this year.
Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'm gonna torch your house.
You'll have more fire trucks than you'll know what to do with.
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