Adult Jokes
Animal Jokes
Bar Jokes
Blonde Jokes
Children Jokes
Chuckcha Jokes
College Jokes
Computer Jokes
Deep Thoughs
Dirty Jokes
Family Jokes
Fart Jokes
Funny Quotes
Gender Jokes
Jew Jokes
Knock Knock Jokes
Lawyer Jokes
Medical Jokes
Military Jokes
Misc Jokes
Mother in Law Jokes
New-Russian Jokes
Political Jokes
Redneck Jokes
Relationship Jokes
Religious Jokes
Sports Jokes
Traffic Cop Jokes
Yo Mama Jokes
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Southern Comments
Exclamations:
"Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!"
"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."
Threats:
"I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outtastyle."
"This'll jar your preserves."
"Don't you be makin' me open a can o' whoop-ass on ya!"
Good Things/Compliments:
"Cute as a sack full of puppies."
"If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it."
"Gooder than grits."
The Weather:
"It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."
"It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch."
Wintry roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot."
Descriptions:
A bothersome person is "like a booger that you can't thump off."
When something is bad then you say, "that ain't no count."
If something is hard to do, it's "like trying to herd cats."
"He ran like his feet was on fire and his ass was catchin."
A hectic schedule keeps you "Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor."
Insults:
"She's uglier than homemade soap."
"Your momma's so fat, when she stepped up on the scale to be weighed, it said 'To be continued.'"
"He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."
"Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits."
"The wheels still turning, but the hamsters dead"
Any insulting statement is always followed by "bless his/her heart."
Example: "She's dumber than a door knob, bless her heart."
More Redneck Jokes:Naming the Twins
All Smiles
Redneck Letter
Duck Hunting
Timbuktu
Valentines, Redneck Style
New Rooster
Redneck Circumcision
Pick up line
Old Graveyard
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