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Pick-up Lines
If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
All those curves, and me with no brakes.
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No!? Wanna do lunch?
Are your legs tired? You've been running through my mind all day long.
Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell I just met the girl of my dreams.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
A woman asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" Man answers, "Yes, do you have the energy?"
Can I have directions to your heart?
Can I have your phone number? I seem to have lost mine.
Do you want to see something really swell?
Your hair is perfectly pH balanced.
Do you have a quarter? My mother told me to call home when I met the girl of my dreams.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.
I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?
Do you want to go out for a pizza and a screw? What, you don't like pizza?
At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No?) Wink.
Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
Excuse me, do you want to screw, or should I apologize?
Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
Forget that. Playing doctor is for kids. Let's play gynecologist.
Hey baby, can I tickle your belly from the inside?
Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
Hey baby, let's go back to my place and get something straight between us.
I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
Hi, do you know why you should masturbate with these two fingers? Because they're mine.
How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
So... How am I doing?
I go down on the first date, how about you?
I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. Would you smile for me?
I like every bone in your body, especially mine.
I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today, and your name was there.
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock.
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
I think we must make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels.
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Wal-Mart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?
I'm like American Express; you don't want to leave home without me.
I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house?
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Excuse me, ma'am, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
If you cut your arms off, you'd look just like Venus de Milo.
If you were a car, I would wax you and ride you all over town.
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg was Christmas, could I spend some time between the holidays?
Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No? Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
Is that a tic-tac in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
Is your daddy a thief? Then how did he steal the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes?
Just call me milk; I'll do your body good.
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
Miss, if you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
My love for you is like the Energizer bunny with its batteries in backwards: it keeps coming and coming.
Hi, my name is . That's so you'll know what to scream.
Nice dress, can I talk you out of it?
Nice shoes. Want to screw?
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
Pardon me, but what pickup line works best with you?
Pull my finger.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let's go screw.
Screw me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
Screw me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.
The fact that I'm missing my teeth just means that there's more room for your tongue.
The first time is always the hardest.
The word of the day is legs. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Want to play carnival? That's where you sit on my face and I try to guess your weight.
Was your dad a farmer? Cause you sure have great melons.
Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
You don't want to dance? I guess a screw is out of the question.
You know what would look good on you? Me.
I'd really love to screw your brains out, but it appears someone beat me to it.
Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
You look like a girl that has heard every line in the book, so what's one more going to hurt?
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
You must be from Pearl Harbor, cause baby you're the bomb.
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
You must be jelly, cause jam don't shake like that.
You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.
Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns.
Your underwear must be made out of Windex, because I can see myself in them tonight.
More Gender Jokes:Saving Up
Explaining Sex
Birthday Gift
The Slanty Ryed Foreman
Meeting The Parents
Pickle Slicer
On A Lonely Island
Male translations
Men are Like...
Doctor Examination
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