Shared Movies
Over 80 Million Movies and TV-Shows
No Charge per movie, No download limit!
Casino Classic
Best Online Casino!
Get $500 free on the house!
Weight Loss Supplements
Natural supplements that burn body fat,
suppress appetite and support a healthy diet.
Antidepressant Medications
Handle stress, elevate the mood,
treat anxiety disorders.

Adult Jokes

Animal Jokes

Bar Jokes

Blonde Jokes

Children Jokes

Chuckcha Jokes

College Jokes

Computer Jokes

Deep Thoughs

Dirty Jokes

Family Jokes

Fart Jokes

Funny Quotes

Gender Jokes

Jew Jokes

Knock Knock Jokes

Lawyer Jokes

Medical Jokes

Military Jokes

Misc Jokes

Mother in Law Jokes

New-Russian Jokes

Political Jokes

Redneck Jokes

Relationship Jokes

Religious Jokes

Sports Jokes

Traffic Cop Jokes

Yo Mama Jokes

Post Your Joke or Anecdote

Making Love to a Woman

MAKING COFFEE
Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir.. gently, and firmly.

You've got to grind your beans until they squeak. And then you put in the milk.

LAYING A CARPET
Laying a carpet is.. very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, nail her, then walk all over her. If you're adventurous - like me - you might like to try an underlay.

HANGING WALLPAPER
Well, hanging wallpaper is also very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

Clean all the relevant surfaces, spread her out on the table, cover her with paste, and stick her up. Then you clean your brush, light your pipe, stand back and admire your handiwork.

PUTTING UP A TENT
Putting up a tent, is.. very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

You rent her, unzip the door, put up your pole an'.. slip in to the old bag.

WASHING A CAR
Washing a car, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

You've got to caress the bodywork. Breathe softly and gently. And give every inch of it your loving attention. And make sure you've got a nice wet sponge.

BEING IN THERAPY
And yet, having therapy is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You.. get on the couch, string 'em along with some half-lies and evasions, probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money.

BEING IN A CRASH
Going to the brink of death and back, in a nine car pile-up on a dual carriage-way, is.. very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

First of all, brace yourself, hold on tight - particularly if it's a rear-ender. And pray you make contact with her twin airbags as soon as possible.

GOING FISHING
Going fishing was very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

First of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod cover, and remove any dirt or gunge that may have built up whilst not in use. Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are no kinks or any wear. Particularly at the base, where the grip is usually applied.

Make sure you've got a decent float, the appropriate bait, and that there's plenty of shot in your bag.
Rate this joke (bigger is better): 1 2 3 4 5
Current rating: 2.8

More Adult Jokes:

the perfect day

"What can be more terrible than the pit bull terrier infecte...

A female university student was asked how much money she wou...

Two girlfriends talk:

A French magazine announced a competition for a best short s...

Crowded Subway

Low Sperm Count

If a woman holds her head slightly to the right, it means sh...

A soiree, music, champagne, people are dancing

The daybook of an adyg [nationality]:








Ads: