Knock Knock Jokes
Mother in Law Jokes
Traffic Cop Jokes
Yo Mama Jokes
Bar Phrases (And Translations)
"You get this one, next round is on me."
(We won't be here long enough to get another round.)
"I'll get this one, next round is on you."
(Happy hour is about to end...beers are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop, sucker.)
"Hey, where is that friend of yours?"
(I have no interest in talking to you, but I want to get your attractive friend in a compromising position.)
"What do you have on tap?"
"I'll have a glass of house white." (Female)
"I'll have a glass of house white." (Male)
"I'll have an amaretto & OJ." (Female)
(I'm really easy.)
"I'll have an amaretto & OJ." (Male)
(I'm really gay.)
"Ever try a body shot?" (Female To Male)
(If this is how wild I am in the bar, can you imagine what I'll do to you in bed?)
"I don't feel well, let's go home." (Female)
(You're paying more attention to your friends than to me.)
"I don't feel well, let's go home." (Male)
"Excuse me." (Male To Male)
(Get the hell out of the way.)
"Excuse me." (Male To Female)
(I am going to grope you now and blame it on the crowd.)
"Excuse me." (Female To Male)
(Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of my way.)
"Excuse me." (Female To Female)
(Move your fat a**. Who do you think you are anyway? You're certainly not all that, missy, coming in here dressed like a hooker...And get your eyes off my man, or I'll slap you like the "beach" that you are!)
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